March 2012
274 posts
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s...”
– Ellen DeGeneres (via pealowsweetandlow )
fagmaufive:
You know you’re a 90s kid when YOU NEVER FUCKING LET ANYONE FORGET IT BY REBLOGGING THE FUCK OUT OF THOSE THINGS
jackstroubleinatanktop:
Thnks fr th vwls
hipsterhispanics:
I hope Rick Santorum warms up a hot pocket and it’s cold in the middle
1612th:
i bet madonna was born on a leap day that’s probably why she thinks she’s 15
how do you expect me to do a homework assignment that requires a computer
do you know what happens when i get near a computer
“My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”
– John Green, The Fault in Our Stars (via thedanksideofthemoon)
February 2012
288 posts
“when one door closes, another one opens”
imagine how annoying it would be if that were true
you close the bathroom door to pee and your front door suddenly blows open
your cat escapes
you run out and jump into the car to chase the cat and hear everything falling out of your over-stuffed pantry as its door unlatches
nehzoomey:
how do 90% of people on tumblr even go outside without being offended by a blade of grass or something
LMFAO YES
“Everything you ever love will reject you or die.”
– Chuck Palahniuk (via slavetothegame)
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling...
step one: take out homework
step two: reward self with two hours of internet for getting that far
Clementine: [Clem arrives home to see Patrick waiting for her] Patrick, get the fuck away from me.
Patrick: What’s wrong?
Clementine: Get the fuck away!
Patrick: Do you wanna talk about it?
Clementine: NO! Get the fuck away!
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sutur3s:
if I hear, “like a bag of smashed assholes” one more time…
lmfao. nate
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“Rick, I’m sorry that hearing that JFK speech on religion makes you throw up, but...”
– JON STEWART, on Rick Santorum saying JFK’s historic speech on the separation of church and state makes him want to “throw up,” on The Daily Show (via inothernews)
“Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to...”
– Sigmund Freud (via cultus-diabolus)
a-girl-and-her-blue-box:
When I see the “We’re sorry” message, I always wonder what shit went down in which fandom.
Training Video: Firearms are NOT permitted in or around Chuck E Cheese
Me: Well now I feel stupid for having brought my gun
people can talk shit about America all they want but at the end of the day we have Ellen DeGeneres.
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